What I fear most about the future isn’t the loss of love—it’s the uncertainty of holding onto something that may have already slipped away without a goodbye.
For over a year now, I’ve been caught in a quiet storm with someone I once felt deeply connected to. We still speak, yes—but the words feel hollow, and the energy between us has shifted into something heavy and unspoken. There’s a void now. A feeling that we’re present, but not truly with each other. I still sense a connection between us, but it’s overshadowed by a negative energy I can’t ignore. It’s like we’re existing in a space of emotional limbo—neither fully together nor fully apart.
What worries me is the way this limbo continues to chip away at my peace.
There was a time when being with him felt like coming home. Now, I don’t know where I stand. I can’t even ask him about it, because anything I say is seen as me being too emotional or taking things personally. I’ve learned to silence myself to keep the peace, but that silence has become its own source of pain.
What I fear for the future is that I’ll keep holding on to something that’s already gone. I worry that I’ll keep showing up for someone who stopped choosing me long ago. And even worse, I worry that I’ll lose myself in the process—forgetting what it feels like to be truly seen, truly valued, truly loved.
He once said that what we had wouldn’t last forever. Maybe that was a warning I ignored. But there was never a moment of closure, no chance to transition, to process, to understand. Just a quiet drift into unfamiliar waters.
I don’t even know where my heart is anymore. All I know is that I feel lost—like my world has been upended by something I can’t quite name. A dark, aching weight that keeps me from moving forward, even as I try.
Sometimes, I feel like I just want to break down completely—fall apart just to rebuild. Because maybe then, I could rise again. Maybe then, I could begin to reclaim my voice, my strength, and my peace.
What I’m most afraid of is never finding that strength again. And yet, part of me hopes that this is the beginning of that journey. That this worry, this heartache, is the soil from which something healing will eventually grow

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